20) How to be even weirder in an elevator/lift

            Read the original post here!


source


       A)     Get into a crowded elevator and say “Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!”

      B)      Clean your gun.

      C)      Make sure the elevator is empty. When somebody gets on, say in a deep voice “Welcome to my sex dungeon. We’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

      D)     Play “I've got your nose” with the other passengers.

      E)      Tell everyone that gets on that you are their long lost brother/sister.

      F)      Look up thoughtfully and say “Hey, is the elevator cable looking a bit rusty to you?”

       G)     Get into a conversation with a fellow passenger about your extraordinary sex life, insisting that all three of your children were conceived in that very lift.

       H)     Call the Psychic Hotline. Ask if they know which floor you’re on.

        I)        Fake an orgasm every time the doors open.

        J)       Slowly read “Green Eggs and Ham” as loud as you can to fellow passengers.

        K)      Ask somebody they floor button they want you to press. When they tell you, say “Is that your final answer?”

       L)       Leave the elevator. Just as the doors are closing scream, “I FORGOT THE BOMB!”

       M)   Put up a wanted poster, with a picture of yourself and the text “WANTED. HORNY RAPIST.”

        N)     Claim the person on the wanted poster is actually a fellow passenger. (Make sure they don’t look like you at all, preferably opposite gender.) Duel them to the death.

         O)     Get on a crowded elevator and say “Don’t worry, rabies isn't contagious.”

       P)      Every so often take a look in your bag and whisper, "Do you have enough air in there?"

       Q)     Ask somebody which rollercoaster they’re going on next.

        R)      Look at a fellow passenger and lick your lips. When they look at you, say, “Dinner’s gonna be real good tonight.”

       S)      Spread North Korean propaganda.

       T)      Dance to the elevator music.

        U)     After a while of staring at a passenger, say “You can’t fool me. That’s a mask.” Attempt to pull their face off.

       V)     Attempt to order pizza with the emergency phone.

      W)   Scream at a fellow passenger, “YOU’RE STEALING ALL MY AIR!” Then collapse and die.

      X)       Pick your nose and remove boogers. Offer them to passengers as a “light snack.”

      Y)      Practice your gangsta rapping skills.

      Z)      Release a cage of doves in the elevator, while screaming “YOU’RE FREE! FREEEEEEEE!”

2 Response to "20) How to be even weirder in an elevator/lift"

  1. F @ Quirks-and-Irks says:
    24 August 2013 at 08:35

    I found this post so hilarious, I almost cried. Especially at "E", because I often contemplate telling popular/beautiful teens (the kind who stare at my "interesting"/naff clothing) that I am their daughter from the future, just to see their reaction.....
    Great blog, btw, I've read just about every post :)

  2. LilyJ says:
    15 April 2014 at 10:43

    Oh my gosh so funny :p can't believe I only found your blog now.. have done "R" before.. bad reactions..

Post a Comment